I really don't care for the word "belonger". It makes me think of the type of person that isn't complete unless they are a part of something, or always doing something within the context of a group. But maybe that is a shortcoming of mine. I am a loner type. I think better alone. I feel comfortable being alone. In some cases I detest groups... except when it comes to the essence of a small group, which is about being a community of friends and spiritual family that has a deeper purpose than providing a way for people to belong.
I much more easily relate to the idea of a "body". Every part is connected and crucial for sustaining the rest of the members. Without a given part the body isn't whole. Interdependence is what it boils down to. I just have to keep in mind that the author's notion of "belonging" is really just a way to express our need for interdependence. I can't help but agree with the general premise of Day 15 that we really are wired for having relationships with each other. This is especially true in the context of spiritual growth.
The way I gauge it is this, if you come to church on Sunday and you don't feel complete because someone close to you isn't there, then you have the interdependence that the author is talking about. Worship is God coming to us in His word and sacraments... and fellowship is the daily living of God's word and promise in each of our interconnected lives. If one of us is missing, the body isn't complete. This is what needing each other really means to me.
"Community is built through commitment". It is very true. It is so true that I'd argue that you don't fully understand what it means to commit to something until you've committed to a genuine friendship. You'll know it's genuine commitment when it hurts deep in your gut when the community is broken. The individual friendships may continue on, but the community is dissolved. When the community is dissolved, the probability is high that the friendships are in the same danger. It is like grieving the death of a deeply loved family member, over and over with each lost friend.
This may seem depressing... and it certainly is, but the point is for the extreme joy that comes with this type of committed community. Cherish every moment. Having a true extension of your blood family in random people brought into your life by God, for the distinct purpose of community... that is priceless.
It took me a long time to learn what respect is. When it comes down to it, my wife has taught me a great deal about why it is important to show respect in every situation; whether it is while entertaining guests, or talking to someone, or talking about someone.
Being tactful, understanding, gentle, and polite... certainly all elements of showing respect. The most difficult for me are probably understanding and gentleness. I typically have difficulty understanding other people's perspectives... and that leads to a definitive lack of gentleness. It boils down to listening better I think. Lord, help me to listen better to those you put in my life so that I can better respect them and love them as you love them.
Today's reading shows us that the key to being supportive of our Christian brothers and sisters is accomplished through genuine tenderness and humility. I appreciate his identification of those attributes as coming from the power of Christ in our lives. He makes a great point about how true humility recognizes God's blessing in our every day lives - meeting our needs and enabling us to accomplish his mission for us.
As I consider my lack of humility and tenderness, I start to wonder if perhaps part of providing support to each other is also an attitude of vulnerability. If I don't open up my life to others to the point of sharing my joys, grief, stresses, failings, successes, and fears, how can they find an opportunity to lend me the support I need? It seems it should go both ways. I need to open and listening to others so I can be the supportive brother God expects me to be, but my brothers and sisters also need to be open with me so that I can be there for them.
It all comes back to being genuine with each other. Once that comes, things like support and encouragement will flow out to everyone from the abundance given us.
<HeavySarcasm>Conflict in the church? How could this be?</HeavySarcasm>
No, I'm not (that) bitter. Just realize that I've had to deal with my share of conflict in the church body. It isn't pleasant. More than anything, you want for God's Will to reign in those situations... yet somehow it doesn't seem to end that way. Maybe it is because the people in positions of leadership are revealed as more worldly then you would think is appropriate for their position... maybe its because your desires were really blocking the view of God's Will. In the end, the result is disillusionment with the church and discouragement in knowing your place in such a diseased body of believers.
The key thing to remember is this... we are all sinners. I'm not surprised anymore that there are church leaders that seems motivated for their own interests rather than the people they are serving. They didn't stop being sinners? For that matter, neither did I. The best we can do is offer forgiveness and stay true to the Word. In situations of conflict, my desire was always to rise up with the human weapons of deception and manipulation - trying to play on the same level, but one step better - and what a poor result that would have lead to. It won't make things easier to deal with, but it will at least attempt to stay true to God's Word.
I'm not convinced that the Devil is full of so many fiendish plots. I sometimes think that our tendency toward selfish ambition is the Devil's only tool. All he has to do it get us to put our eyes on ourselves first, and from there, we're perfectly capable of delving further and further into every sinful behavior. The center of sin is us. We are at the root of our own problem.
But then God's Word comes along, and cuts through the hardest of hearts. I love the illustration from Hebrews 4:12-16 how the Word cuts through bone and marrow to the core our beings, exposing the sin in our life. The Word of God is the double-edged sword that puts our sinful lives to death... and it is the mercy and grace granted through Christ Jesus that takes this dead soul and makes it alive.
Why is it so hard to be patient? It is a matter of whether you are living in your sinful nature, or if you are living in the power of the Holy Spirit. According to Galatians 5:16-25, patience is a gift of the Holy Spirit. Patience, like Love, is hard because it is in direct conflict with our sinful desires.
The key to patience is Jesus. His life has to be your life. That means, there is more to it than just following his example. Anyone can mimic the behavior of another person or live according to their standards. Does acting like a patient person make you patient, or does it make you an actor? God knows the motivations of our hearts. So we need to turn our eyes to Jesus for the patience that will be pleasing to God.
Paul's statement in 1 Timothy 1:15-17 is great news for all of us, and it gives us the hope that even when I'm not feeling at all patient, the mercy of God can give us the patience needed in every situation.
Day 21 rounds out week 4, the tedious "How To" guide to genuine behavior. If it weren't for yesterday being about patience, I'd be more frustrated. It is becoming a bit tiring though to keep reading when it seems to be more and more about "everything I can do to emulate a person who is loving." It is just so lame.
Sorry for the frustration... but I'll have to say it is honesty in affect. Frankly, I think this book is a lot of lip service. Love is a gift of God in Jesus Christ! It isn't something that you can just get better at doing. It takes spiritual growth. It takes trust in Jesus to live it out in you. It takes everything you can't possibly accomplish on your own. The key has to be in the extreme supernatural event of God working in your heart.
If you want to talk about honesty, then look at yourself honestly. Start with the Ten Commandments and realize that on our own, we all have failed on every single one. Be truthfully sorry (contrite) and let God heal the brokenness. Once He does that, the power to love will spontaneously flow.
When it comes to honesty, it does have a major impact on others. People can see right through the smooth-talk. I can... and I hate it when people try to smooth talk me. Just be open and real. It is a lot more interesting.
I'm honestly done with this. How dumb is to have to point out that you shouldn't lie. Let's get a clue people.
© 2007-2010 - Jonathan E. Kuhl